I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
