We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
