White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Every concussion has its silver lining
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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