Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
