i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize