shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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