she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
