I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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