I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my shit smells like andre
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
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