Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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