Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
