I want to stick my p in your. b.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize