You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
