I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Congratulations! We have a period
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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