In the future we'll all be gay
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
