dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
