I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
