I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
