You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
