Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
