Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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