Don't you send me to vm
Little spoons don't ask big questions
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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