my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
