i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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