I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
