i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I could fuck to npr.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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