You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
