just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
