you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
