I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
