It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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