as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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