Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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