I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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