LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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