So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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