Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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  (508): i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker. http://tfl.nu/03y7
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (913)
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  (415): View more from California

  Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.

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  (415): Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel. http://tfl.nu/yxi6
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (589)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Maybe she gives good head

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head

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  (731): Maybe she gives good head (615): A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head http://tfl.nu/5nox
  Replies (44) Good night (932) Bad night (3852)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.

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  (919): She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat. http://tfl.nu/bin7
  Replies (9) Good night (1890) Bad night (5330)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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  (618): Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again http://tfl.nu/9mpp
  Replies (34) Good night (6575) Bad night (961)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

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  (561): I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in http://tfl.nu/qgu1
  Replies (12) Good night (4999) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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  (256): you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!" http://tfl.nu/8xfk
  Replies (11) Good night (13596) Bad night (1491)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

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  (203): I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest. http://tfl.nu/16wx
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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  (330): He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed http://tfl.nu/pn7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1083) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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  (423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk
  Replies (6) Good night (1798) Bad night (548)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  No I didn't. Whiskey did.

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  (765): You wore a man's plastic top hat last night. (574): No I didn't. Whiskey did. http://tfl.nu/63th
  Replies (5) Good night (1949) Bad night (637)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives

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  (501): Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives http://tfl.nu/b213
  Replies (14) Good night (1374) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.

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  (402): Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans. (605): Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon. http://tfl.nu/v291
  Replies (1) Good night (922) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock

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  (919): I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock http://tfl.nu/ok2j
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend

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  (614): I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend http://tfl.nu/qkfk
  Replies (5) Good night (373) Bad night (138)

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