Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

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(631): k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not. http://tfl.nu/ari1

Replies (15) Good night (904) Bad night (7594)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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(402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z

Replies (31) Good night (6969) Bad night (1033)
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(661): View more from California

Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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(661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42

Replies (22) Good night (5227) Bad night (1827)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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(952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9

Replies (38) Good night (7791) Bad night (825)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings

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(414): saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings http://tfl.nu/clzp

Replies (13) Good night (3032) Bad night (4893)
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(802): View more from Vermont

every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.

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(802): every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin. http://tfl.nu/un5l

Replies (18) Good night (8162) Bad night (1161)
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(563): View more from Iowa

he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

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(563): he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes http://tfl.nu/4qyv

Replies (22) Good night (1416) Bad night (5040)
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(904): View more from Florida

all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

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(904): all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home. http://tfl.nu/xqx6

Replies (9) Good night (852) Bad night (3082)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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(217): Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/w6yk

Replies (6) Good night (2156) Bad night (889)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are you speaking in third person?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.

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(902): Why are you speaking in third person? (1-902): Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/1fh5

Replies (5) Good night (3344) Bad night (802)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.

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(252): Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master. http://tfl.nu/donr

Replies (7) Good night (1139) Bad night (1819)
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(850): View more from Florida

I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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(850): I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again. http://tfl.nu/731o

Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (1547)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.

(612): View more from Minnesota

His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.

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(218): His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place. (612): His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants. http://tfl.nu/9orv

Replies (8) Good night (896) Bad night (1309)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him

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(215): I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him http://tfl.nu/j1cu

Replies (4) Good night (1083) Bad night (454)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.

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(309): I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne. http://tfl.nu/l6oj

Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (317)

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