She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.