A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize