we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
