I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
