love makes seman taste better
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
