I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
