brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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