Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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