you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize