Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
