Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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