your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize