I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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