alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
