My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
