I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
