I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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