Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
