Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just cropdusted the office
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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