You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
